The beauty of
an orgasm is that it can occur anywhere on your body,
anytime, for any reason. Instead of trying to regulate them,
why not embrace them. Below are seven easy steps to achieve
orgasm as often as you like. Desfruta
One: Body Letter
Write yourself a “Body Letter”. Give yourself
permission to be orgasmic. Consciously accept yourself as
a sensual and sexual woman. Acknowledge your body and its
physical needs. Encourage your Body to respond to you with
how it feels and how you can best achieve your ultimate
Two: Restructure your Sexual Attitude
As women, we’ve been told for years, decades, that
sex is bad and we were whores if we thought about sex, let
alone enjoyed it. End that thinking now! Release the guilt
and shame of what you’ve been taught, of past experiences,
and reclaim your sensual and sexual divinity. The rules
of childhood no longer apply to you. You’re a woman
now. You make the choices in your life. You decide when,
where and with whom. Trust your choices. They may not always
turn out the way you expected, however, they are yours to
make. Enjoy your sexual freedom.
Three: Communicate your desire
Nothing is worst than a bad lover, except perhaps one who
doesn’t share with their partner what they desire.
He can’t read your mind. Train him. Guide him. Share
with him what you desire and how you like it. Point him
in the right direction if he can’t figure it out.
If you’re too bashful to say the words, use videos,
books, even song lyrics to help him learn what excites you.
Allow him be the kind of lover he wants to be for you. Mira,
even Casanova learned from someone. Talk dirty to him. Tell
him just how badly you want that big hard…what
do you call it?...inside you and where it would fit
best. It’s ok, you’re a big girl. The worse
he can do is spank you for talking dirty; and well, you
might enjoy that. Encourage him to do the same. Who knows,
you might enjoy spanking him.
It’s impossible to know what you truly enjoy unless
you explore. Sexplore. Discover your body. Touch it. Learn
whether a light touch or a hard touch feels best—and
where. Incorporate adult toys. Nothing is taboo. Tease yourself.
Notice where all the erogenous zones are in your body that
you may later guide your lover’s hands or mouth to
them. Discover how many times you can make yourself orgasm.
Yes, every woman can be multi-orgasmic. Invite your lover
to Sexplore with you. Let his fingers do the walking from
time to time. Giggle. Blush. Moan. I guarantee he’ll
Five: Join a Classes
Believe it or not, there are classes available which teach
you to be orgasmic. Find them in your area or join the one
I teach Online or over the phone. Raise your level of understanding
and knowledge where your body is concerned. Do you know
what female ejaculation is? What are the various stages
of sexual arousal? Are you affected by misconceptions and
taboos? Joining a class or seeking private coaching will
enable you to embrace your full orgasmic potential and enhance
what you already experience. There’s no such thing
as “enough” knowledge where pleasure is concerned.
Like anything else in life you want to get great at, discover,
practice, and find a teacher (Sex Therapist) to derive all
Six: Anywhere is fine
Freud was wrong! An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. Who
cares if it’s a vaginal orgasm, oral orgasm, or one
achieved through self stimulation? The fact is you got your
cookies off. Discover all your erogenous zones. You can
be orgasmic from someone nibbling your toes, biting your
neck, teasing your breasts or other places. You can even
be orgasmic from kissing. The list is endless. What’s
on your list? Yes, each orgasm may feel different and vary
in its intensity, yet that’s the beauty of an orgasm.
Like snow flakes, no two are ever the same.
Seven: Be in the moment
Most women lose their orgasm because they lose the moment.
They’re in their heads instead of their body. They
worry about their partner’s opinion on their love
handles, or about how wild they are in bed instead of focusing
on the pleasure they’re receiving. When this happens
to you, refocus your attention. Notice where his hands are
on your body. Focus on the feel of his breath against your
flesh. Allow yourself to enjoy each thrust, the moans he
makes, and his words of passion. Whenever you feel yourself
losing desire and getting distracted, give yourself permission
to orgasm, to enjoy the sexual encounter. Exaggerate your
movements. Verbally acknowledge where his hands are on your
body and speak out loud what his movements make you feel.
Share your need. Tell him what you want to do to him in
return. Put yourself back in the moment of pleasure and
allow yourself to enjoy it. No need to rush, he’s
enjoying himself too.
Dr. Charley Ferrer is the award winning author of The Latina
Kama Sutra, The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman and
several other books on sexuality and relationships. A world
renowned Relationship & Sexuality Coach/Educator, she
also hosts the first bi-lingual TV Show on Relationships
& Sexuality. Dr. Charley provides confidential therapeutic/coaching
services in New York City and via Telephone & Internet.