Second Base Building Anticipation


Dr. Charley Ferrer

Well here we are again. Are you ready for the Second Inning of this
deliciously erotic game? Just how will we move forward after those
sensual kisses which had your head spinning and his hands tightening on
your hips pulling you closer?

Second Base is about building anticipation. It’s about making him growl when you pull away because he wants more. It’s about making his heart race and his mind flash through all the possibilities he can imagine using to please you—even if that means mimicking your behavior.

Coaching Second
You hear it all the time. How you’re supposed to communicate and how communication is the key to your relationship. Well that is true. However, it’s not merely about the endless sessions of words and bitching—it’s about vulnerability and surrender. It’s revealing your desires and creating a doorway for fantasy to become reality.

Remember that kiss that got you on First Base? How you brushed against his cheek nibbling softly. How you whispered in his ear that you wanted to see “if he tastes as good as he looks or to see if he’s as delicious as he smells”. Well here’s where we continue. Toss him a ball he can swing at. Give him the clues he needs to move forward. Moan and whimper as you move closer pressing against him a bit more as you find the right fit against his body. Whisper between kisses, revealing how you’d like his hands to move over you. Give him the permission he needs to begin his own exploration. Don’t worry, whenever his hands go out of bounds, you can redirect him—or bench him all together.

Everyone needs a little coaching. Men more than most since, let’s face it, we do often give them the wrong signals. After all, who the hell can understand all that ear grabbing, nose twitching, ball scratching that goes on in the dugout. Therefore make it simple for him. Tell him to “Run to Second”. Hold his hand and take him there if you have to then cover his hand with yours and squeeze letting him know the pressure you need to make it more pleasurable to have him there—and keep him there for a while.


Taking Second—Above & Below

First let’s start with Above. Breasts play is such an amazing experience which most women don’t allow themselves to enjoy to the level your breasts deserve. We still hear our parent’s warnings and dictates about being “good girls” and not letting a boy go too far or have the drama of those memories where immature idiots tried grabbing our breasts when we were still in grade school. It’s time to push all that aside and enjoy the pleasures that come from having our breasts played with. (Even if you only have one breast due to a mastectomy or none at all, it’s the area location and your imagination which will allow you to derive pleasure from this activity. What better way to affirm his affection for you than to kiss your scar and remind you you’re still a sensual woman despite it.)

There are several ways to encourage him to Play-on-Second. This includes wearing blouses which open in the front to make it easier for him to slip those buttons free as you arch toward him offering more. Lace bras are a tremendously excellent choice as they allow him to view and expose your tender flesh with his hands or lips without having to remove it thereby breaking the spell. You know the one, where you believe you’re still within the “good girl” boundaries since you haven’t taken off your bra. If he needs a little more coaching, place your hand behind his neck and gently guide his mouth where you need it most. Don’t forget to whisper words of encouragement about how you’d like to feel the warmth of his tongue or have it makes your body tremble when he draws you into his mouth and suckles your nipples. Or teasingly comment on how he’s not the only one that gets hard—just looks at your nipples after he’s teased them a bit.

And let’s not forget him! Nipples are one of the most sensitive areas on a man’s body—one which rarely receives any sensual attention. And let’s face it, men are typically too embarrassed to request such erotic attention to such a little bitty part of their body. And well let’s admit it, the big head often gets all the attention. However, you need to remember this is Second Base—FOR BOTH—and his chest needs those delicious nibbles and bites as well.

Experiment with different sensations and pressures. Hold his nipple between your teeth and tug gently, slowly drawing it away from his body. Don’t forget to suckle him or hold his nipple between your teeth and lap at it with your tongue. Watch his reactions. Explore the various sensations you can ignite in his body and relish the moans and whimpers which he makes. You might just discover scratches on your back in the morning. My secret to teasing a man’s body is I pretending it’s mine. I do everything I’d like him to do to me. Remember, lead by example! That’s the sign of a great coach—and in this case, the Ultimate Lover!

And of course, until you’re ready to move on to Third Base and beyond, you can keep your game from stagnating by offering an erotic tease. Again, lead by example, though you can always instruct him on what to do. Have him remove his shirt, or better yet do it for him just after he walks through the door. Have him turn and face the wall. Instruct him to place his hands palms flat against the wall. Now you’re ready to begin. Allow your hands to caress his back, shoulders, the back of his neck. Don’t forget his scalp as you help him relax into your touch, preparing him for what’s to come. Step in closer and brush your lips against his back. Nibble his shoulder blade. Let your hands explore. Wrap them around his waist and allow them to tease their way along his chest, his nipples, over his throat. Drag your fingers over his lips as he moans. He might reward you by biting one or two before suckling them. You can then return the favor by dragging a moist finger over his sensitive nipple and teasing it, twisting it slightly. Experiment. Becoming the Sensual Scientist I refer to in the Latina Kama Sutra. For an added thrill, take off your blouse and bra and let him feel your breasts against his back. If he tries to turn around and you don’t want him to, cover his hands with yours holding them against the wall as you press your body into his. You could always threaten to stop your erotic exploration if he turns around. You’ll be chuckling to yourself at how quickly he places his hands back on the wall not wanting your erotic torment to end. You could torment him a bit more with a line shot down the middle, before the referee calls your hands out of bounds.


And below
You didn’t think I’d forget Below, did you? Nope, not there…a little further south all the way to your feet. It’s really a shame that so many people joke about foot massages and foot worship. They make little snickering comments about the masculinity of a male who enjoys massaging a woman’s feet or mmmmm sensually licking and nibbling on her tootsies. I loved it when the movie Pulp Fiction discussed the intimacies of a foot massage. Contrary to popular belief, there is a lot of intimacy and erotic thrill associated with our feet. Just consider the lengths we go to make them pretty: manicures, toe rings, ankle bracelets, shoes. And for those of you that don’t know, the meridians which run the full length of your body, your nerve endings, all end at your feet. Thus every area of your feet corresponds to specific areas in your body such as your heart, your liver, your vulva. And yes, you can be orgasmic by having your feet massaged. Hopefully you’re not at your Reflexologist’s office at the time like I was—but ok that’s another story.

Let him pleasure every part of your body, including your feet. He can give you a massage, paint your toe nails, dip your feet in paraffin wax and make them feel heavenly. Allow him to take pleasure in every inch of you as you derive pleasure in his touch. Return the favor making it okay for him to enjoy your gift. Should I mention all the ways he can nibble and tease your tootsies? Or how you can use your tootsies to fondle and stroke various parts of his body? The possibilities are limited only by your imagination. As you become the Sensual Scientist and make your way around the ball field, give yourself permission to explore every base to its fullest potential. After all, you can’t go to the World Series if you don’t know how to play the game well.


Kinky deLights

Yes, there are many delicious things you can do to add a little spice into your game. Since we’re already hitting the ball to Second and we’re exploring more of the field, well…let’s get a bit more adventurous shall we.

As you’re exploring his touch on your breasts, why not play with a little more sensation. Clothes pins aren’t just for hanging up the laundry. They are glorious little torture devices that make Second Base a place you’ll want to return to over and over. The trick to clothes pins is in the placement—you want to attach it flat against the nipple. You can also, circle the entire breasts to make a Daisy pattern. Colored clothes pins add to the visual eroticism. The smaller the clothes pin, the tighter the grip. And it’s best to use the wooden ones as opposed to the plastic ones to begin with since they don’t “bite down” as tightly. You can have your lover gently twist the clothes pins as you discover the erotic sensations they create throughout your body. And of course, he can blow on your breasts or lick them as the pressure on your nipples builds the longer you have the clothes pins on. If he’s a little Sadistic, he can squeezes the base of the clothes pins to add more pressure. However, the true sensations come when you remove the clothes pins as blood rushes back into the area. The longer you leave them on, the more intense the sensation will be. If the sensation is too intense, have him cover your nipples with his thumbs to slow down the blood flow or suckle them. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that his actions will create a whole other sensation in your body sending your mind reeling into orgasmic space as you discover a whole new level to your sensuality. Just as a warning, I’d advice against leaving the clothes pins on for longer than five minutes to start with—ten minutes max.

If you or your partner are more visual, why not look into a Rope Bra. Not only will your body experience the sensation of having your breasts encased in rope, or the feel of the indents the rope leaves behind on your skin once removed, but your mind will revel in the sensations of submission and surrender that you may not have known you enjoyed or didn’t dare reveal. Steven Speliotis published a wonderful photographic book entitled Asia Bondage which showcases many erotic pictures depicting rope work on the female body. And don’t overlook the fact that your lover may also enjoy feeling the rope against his flesh. Mmmm, should I mention how erotic and empowering it is to have a man on a leash? Your hand holding the length of rope that binds him! Then again, his chest isn’t the only think you could bind—don’t tell me you’ve never thought of that! And just imagine how much further we’ll go and what we’ll discover as we slide into Third Base.

Dr. Charley Ferrer is a Clinical Sexologist and Sex Therapist who helps individuals reclaim their sensual and sexual divinity. She coaches individuals throughout the U.S. and Latin America on ways to improve their relationships and become better lovers. Her Telephone Coaching Services are a fantastic way for individuals outside of New York City to be able to take advantage of her world renowned expertise. She’s even developed an entire program on Dominance and Submission. She is the award winning author of The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman and The Latina Kama Sutra: The Ultimate Guide to Dating Sex and Erotic Pleasure. Dr. Charley is a freelance writer and international columnist. She values your feedback and looks forward to hearing from you and answering any questions you may have. Please visit her website www.instituteofpleasure.org